the_mad_nader

Well, it's been quite a while but I may be back...more news at eleven

On Saturday May 19th Portland’s Rose City Rollers held their second intra-league bout of season two; the first to count towards the season rankings which will determine the matchups for their first ever playoff-format semifinals which will be held this September. As always, I was trackside the entire night and have been compiling my regular bout wrap-up.

Those of you who regularly tune your browsers to this blog (or my other blog on which derby-related info is cross-posted) have probably realized by now that these write-ups often don’t get posted until quite some time after the bout itself. The delay is not because I’m lazy…well, not entirely because I’m lazy. I could bang something out much quicker, but I wouldn’t be happy with the results. The Sunday after the bout is a decompression day. I generally get nothing done whatsoever. Usually a hangover is involved, because even if I didn’t partake in much drinking the night before, I am a total derby nerd and I get intoxicated on the sport itself. Monday often entails trying to catch up on stuff I didn’t get done over the weekend because for me the derby bout experience is runs almost non-stop from the minute I begin breaking down the sport court on the Thursday before the bout, through set-up on Friday, and doesn’t end until the floor has been returned to the hanger on Monday.

Those first few days after the bout I often spend pouring over my pictures as well as all the photos of the bout I can find on the web. I like to try and review as much photographic documentation as possible to make sure my observations were accurate. Sometimes I take notes, but often they’re not that good and leave things out, and I frequently find myself asking “who jammed third in the second period for the Guns ‘n Rollers” or “who got tossed in the penalty box for the Breakneck Betties when the High Rollers had that 4-0 jam”. While there is necessarily a subjective element to my write-ups, and I can’t/don’t want to detail every single moment of the bout, I do like it to be relatively complete so that when I go back and read this months later all the memories come flooding back and I can at least partially relive the moment.

Anyway, I got the day started, along with a few other die-hard Cadavers, at the World Famous Kenton Club – a Heartless Heathers team, and RCR league sponsor. Being just a few short stops away from the Expo center on the MAX line, it’s a great place for pre-bout libations, where you can leave your car and avoid the hassle and fees associated with driving to and parking at the Expo. Plus, after the bout you can often find many if not all of the Heathers there grabbing a bite to eat before heading off to the “official” afterparty.

I arrived at the bout as doors opened and quickly grabbed my usual spot trackside near the “Ice Box”. Interestingly the opposing teams’ fan sections were placed right next to one another (rather than on opposite sides of the track as they’ve usually done in the past), which made for some fun competitive cheering as each fan tried to drown out their neighbors to support their team.

The Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers were back as usual to get things started right, and the national anthem was performed beautifully by Peter Dynamite (aka the brother of Goodie TwoSkates). After the brief rules explanation, utilizing the live action skills of the Fresh Meat, it was time for the action to get underway.

The first matchup pitted the Heartless Heathers against the Guns ‘n Rollers; it was the first time Portland derby fans have had a chance to see these two teams face off since the championship bout nearly eight months ago, and I for one was dying to see how it would turn out.

In the first jam Itzo EZ quickly sprinted out to grab lead jammer status for GnR, while Sol Train, jamming for the Heathers, stayed right with her through the initial pass through. The teams seemed to be feeling each other out in that first jam, both playing a little conservatively, and as soon as Itzo completed her first scoring run she immediately called off the jam, drawing first blood for her team with a 4-2 jam.

On the following jam GnR again got lead status and killed the jam immediately after picking up four points. While it appeared to me that Vominatrix, jamming for the Heathers, managed to pass at least one opposing blocker cleanly before the jam ended, curiously she was awarded no points and GnR extended their lead to 8-2 after two jams.

As I saw the skaters taking to the track for the third jam, I spied Scratcher in the Eye putting on the starred cap indicating she would be jamming for her team – the first time she’d ever jammed in an RCR intra-league bout. I can’t tell you how excited I was to see this. If you talk derby with me after I’ve had a beer or two, I’d freely tell you that my biggest concern with regards to the Heathers was their lack of experienced jammers.

Throughout their championship season last year they relied almost exclusively on the jamming of just four skaters; one of whom is no longer on their active roster this year. So far this season, they’ve taken a few baby-steps towards expanding their jammer corp, by giving new recruit Daisy Duker time at the five, as well as working veteran Teq“kill”ya in as jammer here and there. But this was the first time I’d seen the team roll out a skater who’d never jammed before in a bout that actually counts, especially when they were trailing. That took guts, but the team had their strategy set and getting Scratcher jamming early ultimately turned out to be a brilliant move.

Jamming for GnR was the fast and dangerous November Pain, a skater who’s been jamming for her team since the beginning. But Scratcher was clearly not intimidated by her opponent as she burst through the pack cleanly, beating her opponent and earning lead jammer status on her very first jam. The new WFTDA national derby rules have made a number of subtle (and not so subtle) changes that really emphasize the importance of earning lead jammer status on that initial pass through. And as GnR had both of the earlier jams, Scratcher completed her scoring run then quickly killed the jam just before Pain had a chance to get any points for her team. The Heathers were on their way back, trailing by a mere two-points at 8-6 with about 15:20 left on the clock.

Next up the Heathers sent out Daisy Duker to jam against Viva Vendetta for GnR. Viva has been developing her jamming game in recent bouts for GnR, and on the Axles of Annihilation, while I’ve commented before about the amazing potential Daisy shows as a jammer. On this jam Viva was the first to cleanly navigate the pack, earning lead jammer status, but she quickly found herself in Daisy’s rearview mirror as she fell farther and farther behind. But in a cagey defensive move to protect her team’s narrow lead, Viva called off the jam before Daisy was able to pick up even a single point.

With just about 13:02 on the clock Itzo EZ returned to jam for again for GnR, while Goodie TwoSkates Bloody DogBite donned the Heathers’ starred cap for the first time on the night. As soon as the jam got underway it was clear to many of us fans that Goodie’s injury (a wicked, bruisy, multiple puncture filled wound caused by a random dog bite only two days before the bout) was definitely having an effect on her explosiveness, and limiting her lateral mobility a bit. In fact, I’m thinking about starting a fund to reward anyone who comes forward with information proving that GnR hired the dog responsible for the vicious bite.

Anyway, Izto and Goodie battled their way through their initial pass, with GnR grabbing lead jammer status, and as they re-engaged the pack for their scoring runs it was clear that unless one of these jammers was taken out neither team would really pull away on this jam. When Itzo called off the jam I thought it was a little odd because it didn’t seem to me as if she’d gotten any advantage over Goodie, nor did it look like Goodie was about to break away and outscore her. The refs awarded the Heathers two points, and gave GnR a goose egg, which brought the score to a tie. But, mysteriously about 30 seconds later two points were deleted from the Heathers’ score and added to GnR’s. I’ll have to see the tape on this one, because I’ve yet to get any good explanation of the scoring for either team on this jam.

Next up November Pain jammed against Sol Train, and as soon as those two got underway Pain got the jump on Sol. Pain caught the pack quicker, and started working her way through, but her speed wasn’t enough as Heathers blockers Teq“kill”ya, Slaybia Majora, Barfly, and Firecrotch turned the pack into a veritable minefield. Pain went down hard, which allowed Sol to pull ahead and by the time the jam was through the Heathers had sliced a point off the GnR lead, bringing the score to 10-13 with about 9:50 left in the period.

Aside from GnR’s brief six-point lead after the second jam, they’d managed to stay in front but by four points or less the entire period. The overall scoring was low, as neither team was getting more than four points in any period, and which team won each jam kept swinging back and forth. It was clearly anyone’s game, and obviously if one team could break out a major scoring run that could quickly spell trouble for their opponents.

As Scratcher in the Eye returned to jam again for the Heathers, Angry Wrench took the jammer’s spot for GnR. While these two skaters do have very different styles and personalities on the floor, it’s interesting to note that they both are extremely effective blockers in the #4 position, and both have been tapped very recently to start jamming for their teams. I was eager to see how they fared against each other.

A-Wrench got the better start out of the gate, but neither skater managed to cleanly navigate the pack on their initial run, meaning they’d be skating the full two-minute jam. This suddenly became a potentially critical shift, because if one team had a mental mistake or their jammer fell behind, they could get seriously outscored and not be able to call off the jam. As in the past A-Wrench looked very solid jamming for her team, and positioned herself well against her opposing jammer, seeming to always take the more advantageous line at each corner.

Both jammers met stiff resistance from the opposing blockers, but the Heathers squad of Vominatrix, D-Day, Izabell Ringer, and Goodie TwoSkates seemed to be helping their jammer out a little better than the GnR blockers. At one point as A-Wrench was breaking past the Heathers’ pivot, Scratcher found herself at a bottleneck behind two GnR blockers. D-Day dropped back and whipped Scratcher outside and around the GnR pack, where she found yet another friendly assist from Ringer, enabling her to catch right back up to A-Wrench. As the jammers came around for a second scoring run the pack seemed to be speeding up, and neither team was able to score for a second time, however GnR had managed to barely edge the Heathers 3-2 on the jam, extending their lead to 16-12.

On the following jam the Heathers had their most dominating shift thus far of the half. D-Day as pivot, and Sol Train at the #2 once again teamed up to form their now legendary “iron curtain”. By the time the GnR jammer had managed to bump and bounce her way through the pack first Sol, then D-Day, would line up and send their opponent sprawling to the track. The mighty Heathers defense pitched a shutout on the shift, while jammer Vominatrix managed to blitz through and pick up a five-point grand slam. For the first time on the night the Heathers had taken the lead 17-16 with a tick over six minutes left in the period.

But that lead would be short-lived as on the next jam Heathers blocker Firecrotch got sent to the box for a major, and GnR got a 4-0 shutout of their own to recapture the lead 20-17 with about 4:40 left in the period. It looked like the Heathers would be starting the next jam on shorthanded, but I noticed that a GnR blocker was also sent to the box just seconds after F.C. This meant the next jam would start off as a 4-on-4 matchup, and with one blocker out for each team there would be more track space for the jammers to skate through. Both teams seemed to be talking strategy during the timeout to make sure they didn’t allow their opponent to exploit all that open track.

As the teams took to the floor GnR rolled out The Harmacist, Nikki Nightrain, and Peril Lust, with November Pain jamming; The Heathers countered with D-Day pivoting, Barfly, Vominatrix, and Daisy Duker as jammer. The pack started fast and maintained the speed throughout the jam, but both Pain and Daisy were fast enough to catch up and get their points anyway. Still, the speed of the pack meant that the jammers had a tough time making more than one scoring run, and when the jam was over GnR had followed up their previous 4-0 jam with a 4-3 jam, giving them a 24-20 lead with about 2:10 left in the period.

There was time left for one more jam, and both teams wanted a strong finish to the period. The Heathers had Sol Train jamming, but GnR suddenly found themselves in a very dangerous position when their jammer was sent to the box for a major. As Sol navigated the pack cleanly to capture lead jammer, GnR now had no way to score and no way to stop the jam. Sol blasted around the track to begin her scoring run, and Heathers Firecrotch, Barfly, Goodie TwoSkates, and Teq“kill”ya muscled the pack out of the way to give their jammer room to pass. As Sol completed her scoring run, passing all four GnR blockers, she then circled the track and passed the GnR jammer still in the box, which should have earned her a five-point technical grand slam.

Surprisingly, for some reason once the jam was over the refs only awarded Sol four points. This was obviously a mistake, as rule 7.4 of the WFTDA rules clearly states that a jammer “will be awarded a point for each opposing skater who is not on the track once she ‘breaks through the pack’ regardless of the number of points she scored on the lap.” The rule then lists some of the situations where a “skater is not on the track” including, 7.4.1 “Skater who is in the penalty box”. That means that as soon as Sol broke through the pack, even before she started scoring on the GnR blockers on the floor, she should have been awarded a point for passing the opposing jammer in the box. Then, after she completed a scoring run, she should have gotten another point if she passed the jammer in the box again.

So by my count, she should have gotten a minimum of five, but more likely six points on that jam. It’s funny because during halftime a stranger came up to me (I must somehow exude an air of derby nerdiness even in person) and asked why Sol got screwed out of points in the last jam of the first half, and all I could say is it wasn’t the first time. If you recall, way back in August 2006, Sol’s score was shortchanged in a similar situation where she should earned points for the opponents in the penalty box she was passing. Back then the rules were written a little less clearly than they are now, but the effect should have been the same both times – the jammer should have been earning additional points for passing opponents in the box.

In any case, the Heathers were awarded four points while the jammer-less GnR were shut out, bringing end of the half score to a 24-24 tie. Ultimately, with both teams starting the second half all tied up, the sensible thing to do would be to ignore the first period all together as whichever team could win the second half would win the matchup.

The next matchup of the night pitted the Breakneck Betties (who’ve become the “it team” in RCR this year) against the resurgent High Rollers. Take whatever you thought you knew about the gang in green and toss it out the window. With new stars and up-and-comers like Hurricane Skatrina, Madame Bumps-a-lot, Bunny Lepowski, Bust’her Spines, and DeeCapASkater, along with veterans like Trixie Fairlane, Ruby Jacknife, Stella Stardust, and Black Sabbatha the new look High Rollers are a much improved team. They came within one point of knocking off GnR last March, and have even added a few more promising new recruits who will be working their way into the lineups this season.

But for now, the spotlight is clearly on the Betties. They’ve had a string of strong performances (highlighted by a win over Rat City’s Throttle Rockets last January) since closing out last season with a big win over the High Rollers to claim a third place finish. They’ve got their eyes on the prize this year, but the first step en route to them getting into the 2007 championships was a matchup against the High Rollers.

For their first jam of the night the High Rollers sent out Madame Bumps-a-lot, who has developed into their ace jammer, against Rhea DeRange jamming for the Betties. Both skaters sprinted around the track to begin their initial pass, but the Betties defense sent Bumps skidding out of bounds, allowing Rhea to slow things down and make sure she cleared the pack cleanly, earning lead jammer status. As Bumps regained her footing, and entered the pack again to finally try and break through, her teammates were disrupted and knocked around, never making it over to help her avoid the brutal Betties blockers. By the time Bumps had finally gotten through, Rhea managed to complete her scoring pass, and get ahead of Bumps, before calling it off and earning the Betties a 5-0 grand slam to start the period.

This was not a good way to get started against a team as tough as the Betties. And although High Roller jammer Hurricane Skatrina managed to get some points on the board during the second jam, they still fell even further behind as the Betties pushed the score out to a 9-3 lead. I was a little concerned that the High Rollers may have been hitting the panic button a bit early when they jammed Bumps for the second time in three jams, and again the Betties defense had their way with her bagging yet another 5-0 grand slam. By the end of those three jams the Betties had already taken a double-digit lead 14-3; in the entire 20 minute period between GnR and the Heathers neither team had taken such a large lead, and the Betties had done it in less than five minutes.

Things went from bad to worse for the High Rollers as Ruby Jacknife jammed for the first time on the night against Rhea DeRange for the Betties. As I watched this jam unfold, it seemed like both Izzy Rider and DeeCapASkater started to realize that they weren’t getting enough assistance to their jammer, and they started to work their way into the strong Betties back wall formed by Ava Sk8trix and Cadilac. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite clicking for the High Rollers and they found themselves on the short end of yet another 5-0 jam.

But on the following jam the High Rollers finally righted the ship, and Bumps-a-lot managed to earn her first points of the night with a 4-0 jam, cutting the Betties lead down to 19-7 with about 12:15 left in the period. On the next jam, even though the Betties managed to earn lead jammer, they weren’t able to extend their lead as both teams picked up four points, finishing pushing the score to 23-11. Again, I noticed Izzy Rider doing a good job of recognizing when her jammer was in trouble at the back of the pack and getting over to give her some assistance.

The Betties found themselves running afoul of the refs in the next jam, as some of their physical play that had been pushing the High Rollers all around the track had apparently been earning them some minor penalties. Despite again earning lead jammer status, the shorthanded Betties actually gave up a little ground to the High Rollers as they were outscored on this jam 4-2.

The next jam went the full two minutes and featured Bumps-a-lot skating against Blood Clottia for the Betties. Again the High Rollers further chipped away at the daunting Betties lead, outscoring them 4-2, leaving the total score 19-25 with about 6:30 left in the period. It was slow going, but the High Rollers were clawing their way back into the match after trailing by as much as 16 points in the early minutes.

When Rhea DeRange jammed against Hurricane Skatrina on the next jam, they burned another two minutes off the clock, but this time neither team managed to score a point. On the next jam the two teams continued to pound on each other, with Ava Sk8trix and Domesticated Violence doing most of the damage for the Betties, and Trixie Fairlane and DeeCapASkater punishing Betties jammer D. Konstructor. Again, two minutes burned off the clock with neither team picking up a point to show for it. But the Betties did shoot themselves in the foot as they picked up not one, but two majors during the jam, including one on their jammer.

On the following jam the Betties began without a jammer and short one blocker, while the High Rollers got set with Bumps-a-lot jamming and a full compliment of blockers. Right away High Roller Stella Stardust started mixing it up with Ava Sk8trix for the Betties. Some of the hits and grabs appeared to be clearly illegal, but the refs didn’t seem to be noticing it and she seemed to be accomplishing the task of occupying Ava’s attention. Unfortunately for the High Rollers, the remaining Betties’ blockers managed to find a way through the High Roller pack and go straight at their jammer Bumps-a-lot. As Betties’ jammer D. Konstructor was released from the box, they managed to drill Bumps and send her sprawling out into crowd, where she basically landed in the lap of “the King”, one of the High Roller mascots. The fall seemed to take a lot out of her, and she was very slow getting back to her skates and back into the action, while D.K. was powering along and even passing opposing blockers on the outside – something that’s a little unusual as D.K. seem to almost always hug the inside line.

The jam ended with about 0:15 left on the clock, and I felt sure we had just seen yet another scoreless jam for both teams, but the refs actually gave the Betties two points. I can’t be certain without seeing some video of the bout, but I never saw D. Konstructor make an initial pass after coming out of the box before they started giving her points. In any case, the period ended with the Betties holding a 27-19 lead over the High Rollers.

Half time. I Discovered the serving of beer had been cut off. This didn’t upset me too much, because seriously, it’s only PBR. But it was a bit surprising. Most other sporting events I’ve attended don’t stop alcohol sales until much later – at a Blazers game you can still buy beer, wine, and liquor until the start of the 3rd quarter, at baseball games it’s the 7th inning, at Timbers games I think it’s like the 70th minute, but at derby it’s half time.

Anyway, there were a lot…I mean a lot of people talking about the scores. Most of the people I heard were talking about how badly the Betties were beating the High Rollers. While I admit, in those first five minutes it looked miserable for the High Rollers, they’d been fighting their way back and trailed by only eight points. Eight points is nothing! You could overcome that in two good jams, or one phenomenal one! As I alluded to before, a lot of the people coming up to me wanted to talk about the Heathers - probably because I proudly wear a one-of-a-kind Heathers t-shirt, designed and created by Mr. Willful Misconduct, that features My Lady, or rather her aftermath, on the back. Many of them seemed a bit worried that the Heathers weren’t winning. As for myself, I had no doubt that the Heathers would skate strong in the second half, and my only concern was that if they ultimately ended up losing I wanted it to be because GnR had just continued skating as well as they had in the first half, and not because of some snafus with the scoring.

Anyway I returned to my seat rather quickly and caught a good portion of the halftime entertainment – bellydancing from Deviant Dance. The dance and dancers looked good to me (and I’ve seen my fair share of bellydancing, some of it by actual Arabic and Middle Eastern women), but I don’t think this was the right space or venue for their art. It’s an intimate dance form, and it doesn’t really come across that well when you have a couple women dancing on about 10,000 sq. ft. of stark blue plastic sport court.

It was soon time for the second half of action to begin and the Heartless Heathers and GnR were taking to the track, each trying to be the first team to break the 24-all tie. Both teams seemed to be rolling out some of their strongest lineups as GnR went with Paradise Kitty pivoting, Rocket Mean, November Pain, and Mullet Bullet blocking, and Itzo EZ jamming, while the Heathers countered that with Sol Train at pivot, D-Day, Barfly, and Firecrotch blocking, and Vominatrix as jammer. Both jammers streaked towards the pack, but while Itzo seemed to be getting hung up on Barfly and F.C., Vom avoided a hit from Rocket Mean and quickly got an assist from Sol to burst through into lead jammer position. It wasn’t until Bullet dropped back to run interference on the Heathers blockers that Itzo was able to work her way up to the middle of the pack.

After getting staggered by a hit from D-Day, Itzo finally broke through but had to sprint hard to try and catch up to Vom who was rounding the track to begin her scoring run. The GnR blockers, realizing that Vom could shut Itzo out by calling the jam at any time, attacked the Heathers’ jammer, forcing her to fight to stay in bounds, but not slowing her down enough to let Itzo fully catch up. As Vom completed her scoring run and called off the jam, the Heathers had managed to break the tie with a 3-0 jam.

On the second jam of the half (the 14th of the night) Firecrotch moved up to pivot, while Vom slip up to block alongside Teq“kill”ya, and Daisy Duker, and Scratcher in the Eye returned to jam. Scratcher burst out to get lead jammer, then proceeded to burn about 1:30 off the clock while still managing to extend their lead with a 2-1 jam. But that four-point lead was quickly erased as GnR evened things up with a 4-0 jam, leaving about 14:30 left on the clock.

With the score again tied, the Heathers went with Sol Train pivoting, Teq “kill”ya, Titania, and Scratcher blocking, and Vominatrix as jammer. When Viva Vendetta, jamming for GnR managed to pick up lead jammer I’m sure there must have been a lot of GnR fans thinking their team would retake the lead for the first time in the second half, but Vominatrix stuck right with Viva, shrewdly distracting her with left and right jukes until they reached the pack to begin their scoring run. At this point the Heathers’ blockers drilled Viva before she managed to make a single scoring pass, sending her to the ground as Vom darted forward to score. Viva quickly tried to call off the jam, but not before Vom had done some damage. When the scores were updated I was a little disappointed to see the Heathers had only been awarded one point (I was sure Vom had cleanly passed at least two opponents, maybe three), but it was still impressive to see the team with the lead jammer get shut out.

The Heathers followed this up with Goodie TwoSkates jamming, who sprinted through for the lead position, earned her four points, then called the jam right before the GnR jammer could get on the board. With just under 11:00 remaining in the period, the Heathers had opened up a 34-29 lead and had already outscored GnR 10-5 in the period. Although this had been a rather low-scoring defensive battle to this point, a five point lead can quite easily be erased in a single good jam, so the key now would be to continue controlling the game. As long as the Heathers could keep getting lead jammer, they would be a good position to whittle the clock and slowly extend their lead – or at the very least ensure that GnR couldn’t make up much ground in a single jam.

On the 18th jam of the match, with Scratcher in the Eye once again jamming for the Heathers, they continued that strategy of working as a team to ensure their jammer got lead status. Scratcher swiftly scored her four points, then burned as much time as possible before killing the jam. Her 4-0 jam gave the Heathers their largest lead of the night so far at 38-29 with 9:30 left in the game.

As Goodie TwoSkates and Angry Wrench donned the starred caps for their respective teams, it was getting down to crunch time when GnR would have to make their move if they were going to pull out a victory. The Heathers lead was by no means insurmountable, but the score didn’t tell just how much in control they were. They had earned lead jammer on all but one jam in the period, and had systematically burned time off the clock while bit by bit increasing their lead. But their momentum wouldn’t be stopped just yet. As A-Wrench and Goodie fought to complete their initial scoring run, Slaybia Majora and D-Day were in full control of the pack, opening up lanes for their jammer, and closing them just as quickly once Goodie was through. Again the GnR jammer was staggered during that initial pass, while Goodie skated through to earn lead jammer, score four points, then call off the jam. In the blink of an eye the Heathers had pushed their lead to 42-29, and the clock had run down to just under 8:00.

But the Heathers had also picked up a penalty and would be starting the 20th jam down a skater. Bucking the trend of the half, neither jammer managed to break through cleanly, which meant the pack would be skating the full two-minute jam. Things looked even scarier for the Heathers when their pivot Teq“kill”ya was whistled for a major, giving GnR a 5-on-3 advantage for the jam. But Sol Train, jamming for the Heathers, made a strategic decision to skate more as an additional blocker rather than to expend energy trying to score with so few teammates on the track able to assist her. Barfly, Vominatrix, and Sol Train took their defense to another level allowing GnR only three points in the full two minute jam, despite being shorthanded by two skaters for much of the shift.

As the 21st jam got started with about 5:30 left in the period the Heathers had survived a very dangerous moment, and still held a strong 10-point lead. Ace GnR jammer November Pain stepped up to jam and try and take a swipe at the lead, and the Heathers boldly countered with Scratcher again. With the slight hiccup of the last jam over, Heathers blockers Firecrotch and D-Day once again controlled the pack, and shepherded their jammer through to lead status. Although Pain was right on her heels, and managed to speed around her through turns three and four, Scratcher simply stayed with her and called off the jam before either team got on the board.

The next jam pitted Vominatrix jamming against Angry Wrench, but was more of the same. The Heathers got lead status, burned time off the clock, then killed the jam before either team scored. It must have been the most frustrating thing in the world for GnR. Each jam they’d watch the Heathers beat them to lead status, then slowly trail round the track and end the jam after burning another 1:30 or so from the clock. The only way GnR could combat this strategy, and end the Heathers control of the match, was to somehow prevent them from getting lead status. But the Heathers’ pack control was simply too smooth, too dominating.

Ultimately all the Heathers had to do was skate out two more jams, and they held GnR scoreless throughout. It was such a dominating and calculating performance. They absolutely controlled at least three-fourths of the second half, outscoring GnR 18-8 in the half, and holding them completely scoreless for fully 5:30 minutes. The Heathers won the match because they had a plan to win each jam. And just about every jam they won was decided in the initial minute. These two teams were extremely competitive, and either one has the talent, speed, and skill to be victorious, but on this night the Heathers had the right game plan and that made all the difference, as they beat GnR 42-32.

Finally it was time for the second period of action between the Breakneck Betties and the High Rollers to get underway. The High Rollers had managed to largely dig themselves out of the tremendous hole the Betties had put them in, and now trailed by only eight points. The teams started out with Megahurtz jamming for the Betties against Bumps-a-lot for the High Rollers. Mega beat Bumps through the pack to earn lead, but the High Rollers blockers worked with renewed vigor to slow her down. Trixie Fairlane and Hurricane Skatrina were very physical and seemed to clog up much of the track, while Izzy Rider continued to spend much of her time in the #4 position and was instrumental in helping Bumps keep her speed as she entered the pack. As scoreboard was updated at the end of the jam the High Rollers were initially awarded a 4-0 jam, and although they’d skated well, this seemed hardly possible. Shortly after the next jam began three more points were added to the Betties score pushing leaving them with a 30-23 lead.

Next up the High Rollers jammed Ruby Jacknife as the Betties jammed Ava Sk8trix. Ava burst forward and hit the pack with quite a bit of speed, whereas Ruby approached the pack a stride later but carefully and cleanly navigated the pack to earn lead jammer. As the two skaters rounded the track to begin their scoring runs the pack started to disintegrate as the blockers for each team fell into the trap of skating one-on-one rather than with a solid team strategy. Again, Ava was up and through the ever-widening pack first, grabbing four points, while Ruby came up just a few short paces behind her. After the jam was called off however the High Rollers had just missed keeping pace with the Betties, who had extended their lead once again to eight points at 34-26.

On the next jam Bumps-a-lot earned lead status jamming against D. Konstructor, but she wasn’t able to get much distance between her and her opponent before calling the jam off after her scoring run. Again neither pack seemed to focus terribly much on assisting their jammers, but there were enough gaps for both teams to pick up points on each jam. On this, the 14th jam of the match, the High Rollers again cut the lead down to seven points with a 3-2 jam.

But the Betties did a great job of tying up Hurricane Skatrina to stop the High Rollers from getting any type of momentum and struck right back with a 3-0 jam to bring the score to 39-29 with 13:15 left in the period. But Skatrina slid over to a blocker spot and stayed on the track to help provide some muscle to assist Bumps-a-lot on the next jam. Bumps took a few tooth rattling hits from Megahurtz, but Skatrina managed to skate interference and position herself to prevent Mega from landing any knockout blows on her jammer. Bumps earned lead jammer and killed the jam immediately after completing a 3-0 scoring run, stopping the jam with over 12:00 still on the clock.

The score had been hovering around that seven-point differential with nearly half the period gone, so the High Rollers were still very much alive in this matchup as the 17th jam began. Ruby Jacknife returned to jam for the High Rollers against D. Konstructor for the Betties. Ruby seemed to have been building steam to this point, and she attacked the pack fiercely. D.K. also approached with speed, but the High Rollers seemed to be doing a good job of denying her the inside, which has always been a big part of her game. I think Ruby managed to earn lead jammer on her initial pass through, and looked poised to skate a strong jam for her team, but tragedy struck and she was whistled for a major and sent to the box. I didn’t see what she’d done to earn the penalty, but it can be quite easy to pick up a minor and if this was her fourth it would be counted as a major.

Whatever the reason for the call, the High Rollers, who just seconds earlier seemed to be on the verge of really jumping back into this bout, suddenly had lost their jammer before she managed to score, and would have to start the next jam without her. The Betties quickly capitalized on the opportunity and pulled off a devastating 8-0 jam – which could have been even worse had the High Rollers not managed to force D.K. out of bounds during a few of her scoring passes.

With about 9:30 left in the bout the Betties jammed Dora Doom unopposed in the 18th jam of the matchup, and as expected she earned lead jammer. But as soon as time expired on Ruby Jacknife’s penalty she streaked out of the box and once again attacked the pack furiously. In a matter of seconds she’d blasted through her initial pass, and nearly caught up to Dora when she began her scoring run. It must have been a bit of a shock for Dora to look over her shoulder and see Ruby had almost completely overcome her headstart. Once the jam finally came to an end the Betties had still outscored the High Rollers, but only by a 4-2 margin bringing the score to 51-34.

Bumps-a-lot jammed next, and was lead jammer, for the High Rollers against Blood Clottia for the Betties, but I think the effort of jamming so frequently was beginning to take it’s toll on the speedy High Roller jammer. She still had great sprinting speed, but seemed to start running out of stamina by the time she began her scoring run and the Betties’ blockers started hammering away at her. Both jammers completed a scoring run, but Blood managed to get the full four points while Bumps only scored three to bring the score to 55-37 with about 5:50 left in the period.

With the Betties starting to smell victory they rolled out an intimidating lineup for the 20th jam of the night featuring Ava Sk8trix, Domesticated Violence, and Glamour Hammer along with Rhea DeRange jamming. It started to look like the Betties might win this matchup going away, but the High Rollers still had a few aces up their sleeves. Hurricane Skatrina muscled her way in front of Rhea to grab lead jammer, and continued to sprint round as she approached her scoring run. Meanwhile High Roller’s blocker Stella Stardust and Ava Sk8trix were engaging in their own mini-drama physically jockeying for position at the rear of the pack. These two had to be attracting attention from the refs, as many of their hits were obviously illegal, but ultimately they just seemed to neutralize each other with neither one really gaining an advantage her jammer could exploit. By the time the jam ended each team had only picked up a single point, leaving the score 56-38 with a little over four minutes left in the period.

The 21st jam started strong with a rematch of Bump-a-lot jamming for the High Rollers against Blood Clottia for the Betties. But when the Betties failed to get lead jammer status, they had to put their energies fully into defense and as the High Rollers tried to combat this the pack degenerated into a true free-for-all. Skaters were hitting the ground hard at almost every corner. The hits were hard, and persistent, often the aggressor would literally chase the other skater out of bounds and follow up with an illegally late hit or two. Neither team looked to be really controlling the pace or the action, but by the time the jam finished the Betties had gotten exactly what they wanted – a scoreless jam.

With only about 1:22 left in the period there was time enough for only one jam, and the Betties looked like they wanted to bury the High Rollers as they sent D. Konstructor in to jam again. But the High Rollers seemed to realize that even if victory may be out of reach, they could still wrap this match up on their own terms. Stella Stardust and DeeCapASkater formed a solid blocking duo for the final High Rollers lineup, while Ruby Jacknife returned to jam one last time. Maybe the Betties became a little complacent since they knew they had the victory all sewn up, but the High Rollers definitely dictated the pack positioning on this final jam, and Ruby skated masterfully to go 4-0 before the clock expired. But it was a case of too little, too late as the Betties skated away with a 56-42 victory over the High Rollers.

In a number of prior bouts the High Rollers seemed to fall apart or simply run out of gas as the bout wore on. But, although they still lost, this was a completely different bout for the High Rollers. If they hadn’t fallen so far behind in the first five minutes, I’d wager we would have seen a different outcome. In fact, if you erase those first five minutes the High Rollers actually outscored the Betties 39-37 over the remaining 35 minutes, which is a feat I don’t think we’ve seen from any previous High Rollers squad. Still, they have yet to put together a complete 40 minute game and skate home with a victory, and until they do that this team is going to have to find a way to avoid the disillusionment that can follow so many losses. The Betties on the other hand chalked up yet another win, and when things were clicking for them (especially early on) they looked like they could steamroll any competition.

After the bout was done, and the sport court was carefully loaded back in the truck, it was over for a stop at the Kenton Club before heading over to the “official” after party. Regardless of my intentions at the beginning of the night, it’s always so tough to leave a good time at the K-Club for a ho-hum time at Outlaw’s, but as long as that’s the chosen venue for the Rose City Rollers’ after-bout parties there’s not a whole lot I can do. I do hope that they expand their horizons in the near future as there have to be other spots that would love to host an RCR afterpary.

 

 

Though I have mentioned this before, the next bout of the Rose City Rollers' second season of derby will be on Saturday May 19th.  It will be an intraleague bout, meaning all four home teams will be skating.  It also will be the first bout of the season that will actually count towards the semifinals coming this September, so you don't want to sit on your thumbs waiting for the last minute to buy tickets and risk it getting sold out first.

The matchups will feature the High Rollers vs. Breakneck Betties and Guns 'n Rollers vs. Heartless Heathers.  As always hit up your favorite rollergirls (for the cheapest available tix) or visit TicketsWest (online or in most Safeway stores).  As far as the season tickets I have mentioned (on my other blog) before, you may have missed your chance if you haven't already purchased yours (come on, the season started months ago) since the league seems to have removed most of they buying info from their tickets page.

Last Saturday April 21st the Rose City Rollers hosted Portland's very first WFTDA nationally ranked interleague roller derby bout, featuring RCR's Wheels of Justice versus the Sin City Neanderdolls of Las Vegas. The under card on the night pitted the RCR's "B-team", the Axles of Annihilation against the Lava City Roller Dolls out of Bend, Oregon. While RCR has hosted one interleague bout before (Rat City paid a visit last January), that was only an exhibition and it featured all four teams from both leagues. This time around Portland derby fans got their first chance to see both of the RCR interleague teams battling against all-star squads from other leagues.

If you were paying attention during last February's 2007 Dust Devil Tournament in Tucson, AZ (or reading my other blog) you'll remember that the Wheels lost a three-point heartbreaker to the Neanderdolls in the first round of the WFTDA Western Regionals. However, on the strength of that gutsy performance the Wheels managed to bump RCR up the ladder in the WFTDA rankings to 12th in the nation. The Neanderdolls, having skated considerably more interleague bouts than the Wheels, sit just three spots higher at 9th in the nation.

Once again I was at my regular spot along the track, as close to the action as you can get without strapping on wheels. I could sense a different vibe throughout the Expo center. I think a matchup of this caliber really brought out some of the most hardcore derby fans in PDX and the surrounding area. I think just about everybody there knew how important this bout was, and understood that we were all in for a real treat and expected to witness the highest level of skill and competition we've ever seen in Portland. Add to this the fact that nearly half the skaters in the league were getting to actually watch an RCR bout as fans, and you just knew that this was a crowd that understood the game and was really excited to see the action.

As the skaters from all four competing teams warmed up on the track everything seemed just a little less for show, and a little more professional. Sure there were smiles, and waves to the crowd - everyone was having fun - but everyone also knew that tonight's performance would get the attention of the rest of the derby world, far more than a regular intraleague matchup would.



As the Wheels and the Neanderdolls took the track to begin the first period, I was almost numb with anticipation (though I'm sure the pre-bout libations may have had something to do with that). While I had seen video of the Neanderdolls skate before, I had never seen them live and was really itching to find out for myself just how good this team was. I watched tape of them slaughtering the Atlanta Rollergirls, so I had seen just how good this team could be.  My prediction was that the bout would be an extremely close, back and forth affair for two periods, then the Wheels would pull away at the end to win by 10-15 points.

In the first jam of the night the two teams came out and skated smooth and fast, as if each team wanted to take account of their opponent and see if they were the same team they'd faced roughly two months earlier. Each team's jammer made it through the pack and the jam ended in a 4-4 tie.

The first thing that instantly stood out to me as the teams prepared for the second jam was that the Neanderdolls were skating with the same pivot, Trish the Dish. I knew that Sin City was skating a little shorthanded, bringing only 10 skaters to the bout after having lost a number of their team in recent weeks (some to injury, some quit). This meant that the Wheels potentially had a great advantage in the fact that they had the maximum 14 skaters on their active roster. Blunting this advantage somewhat is the fact that almost all of the Neanderdolls were used to skating the regulation three 20-minute periods, whereas the Wheels have skated very few hour-long bouts, and their home games are all the abbreviated two 20-minute periods.

On the second jam neither team managed to take lead jammer status, but after the full two-minute jam the Wheels had managed to score four unanswered points. The Neanderdolls came on strong in the next jam, quickly battling their way through the pack to earn lead jammer status. Dish, pivoting in her third straight jam, muscled the Wheels' defensive line and the Neanderdolls slowed the pack, hoping to give their jammer the opportunity to grab a quick four points then call off the jam before her opponent could score. But the Wheels reacted quickly; Goodie TwoSkates, jamming for the Wheels, had a harder time getting through the pack on her initial pass, but quickly devoured the gap between her and the opposing jammer, with both skaters reaching the pack at about he same time. As the Neanderdolls blockers formed up to protect their jammer, they missed Goodie as she darted by and picked up four clean points for her team, while their own jammer took a beating and was forced out of bounds, managing to only score three for the Neanderdolls.

It was clear in these early minutes that the Wheels came out with a lot of energy and aggression. They were being very physical with the Neanderdolls, who seemed to be focused more on conserving their energy for later in the bout. On the next jam the Wheels doubled their five-point lead, while holding the Neanderdolls scoreless for the second straight jam.

Then they got serious. With Sol Train jamming for the Wheels, the Neanderdolls responded by rolling out Bruce Killis at jammer. Killis and MC Guillotine seemed to have body types built more for speed and agility than for power, so I was expecting the Neanderdolls to try and speed things up to at least partially negate Sol's huge strength and power advantage. But the Wheels' game plan was executed perfectly. Megahurtz attacked Killis ferociously, forcing her to lose momentum each time she approached the rear of the pack. At the same time Vominatrix held a tight position on the inside and was able to whip Sol around the tight Neanderdoll formation with such speed that it seemed she hardly took three strides before she was once again attacking the back of the pack.

At this point I have to mention that the Neanderdolls maintained control over their pack in a very interesting fashion: basically one or both of their team captains (Dish and Ivanna S. Pankin) would direct their teammates like an air traffic controller from within the pack. Dish and Ivanna had skated just about every single jam, and at no time did the Neanderdolls skate without at least one of these two on the floor. Both of them skated as blocker, pivot, and jammer - though Dish seemed to work more from the front of the pack, while Ivanna more often worked the middle and rear. While it's common to see skaters on any team communicating with their packmates, I've never seen it done to the extend that the Dish and Ivanna were directing the Neanderdolls. In fact, many times Ivanna would simply grab and shove one of her teammates where she wanted her to be.

Unfortunately for the Neanderdolls, this was not proving effective at stopping or even slowing Sol Train. A couple of times I saw Ivanna literally whip one of her own teammates into the path of Sol who was about to complete her second scoring run; Sol just muscled right through the blocker turned human missile. If the Neanderdoll blockers had been skating over and timing their hits on Sol, they might have packed enough power to slow her, or deny her points by forcing her out of bounds, but as it was it looked like despite their clear focus on trying to stop Sol Train, their strategy was simply not working. And with all their efforts directed towards trying to stop the opposing jammer, their own scorer Bruce Killis was left unassisted at the back of the pack.

By the time this jam ended the fans were on their feet and roaring. Sol had blasted round and through the pack repeatedly, while Killis was still trying to navigate her initial pass. On the back of Sol Train's powerful jamming the Wheels broke the match wide open with a 10-0 jam; again doubling their lead which now sat at 27-7 with about ten minutes left in the period.

Although it was still very early, with about 50 minutes of skating left, it was coming to that point when you've got a team on the ropes and the battle becomes more a question of could the Wheels break their spirits now, or would the Neanderdolls manage to start that slow process of getting back into the bout before they get buried. The answer started to become clear as the Neanderdolls' team identity started to surface. From that Sin City-Atlanta bout I'd seen, and from what I'd heard from those who watched the Neanderdolls at the Dust Devil, the team seemed to have two leaders. Ivanna was the calculating tactical leader, instructing and physically positioning her teammates to execute strategic plays, while Dish was the emotional leader, the fiery heart and soul of Sin City.  Both of these captains began to really impose their personalities on the bout at a time when their team needed them the most.

As the skaters took the floor for the sixth jam, Dish, once again at the pivot, squared off against November Pain pivoting for the Wheels.  Pain has been one of the RCR's premier jammers since the beginning, but she has more recently been expanding her game to become a better than average blocker and solid pivot.  However, she had her hands full battling Dish to control the pack speed and maintain her team's positions.  As the jam got underway, both Rhea DeRange jamming for the Wheels, and Ivanna S. Pankin for the Neanderdolls sprinted off after the pack.  While Rhea seemed to have a step on Ivanna, it was the Neanderdolls who first cleared the pack cleanly, earning lead jammer status for their team.

When Ivanna made it around to begin her scoring run the Wheels tried to close down defensively, with the same intensity they'd kept up the entire period thus far.  The problem with intensity is that it can occasionally result in pushing the legal limits of the game, and the Wheels started catching the attention of the refs and picking up fouls.  Most of the fouls seemed to me of the somewhat more subtle kind: hitting a player who's just out of bounds, or more than 20 feet from the pack, or using too much elbow when checking the opponent.  While I didn't see all of the fouls, Dish certainly did (or thought she did) and she began screaming to the refs to whistle the Wheels' blockers for fouls.  In fact, from this point on for the rest of the night Dish seemed to bark almost non-stop at the refs, complaining about calls that either were or weren't being made.  In any case, the Neanderdolls used lead jammer status to their advantage, scoring a 5-0 jam then shutting it down.

The Neanderdolls were putting things together, and like seasoned veterans began using the Wheels' strengths against them.  When the Wheels' blockers used their speed to chase down the opposing jammer, the Neanderdolls would quickly put the brakes on the pack to open up some distance.  At one point, D-Day blocking for the Wheels lined up a solid hit Neanderdoll jammer MC Guillotine, only to get dinged with a major for hitting more than 20 feet from the pack.

But the Wheels kept their offensive attack rolling, and while the Neanderdolls had managed to slow it somewhat, it could not be stopped.  Ava Sk8trix, jamming for the Wheels managed a 3-0 jam, then the Neanderdolls responded with their own 4-0 jam.  The gains were small, but in an hour long bout there was plenty of time for for the Neanderdolls to continue to shave the deficit down.

With about two minutes remaining, and the Neanderdolls trailing 33-21, the Wheels used an interesting lineup that featured Vominatrix at pivot, Goodie TwoSkates, and Firecrotch as blockers, and Sol Train jamming - all of whom skate for the 2006 RCR champion Heartless Heathers.  This lineup was proved especially effective as the closed out the period with a 4-0 shutout, and the Wheels headed into the intermission with a solid 37-21 lead.

As the teams of the night's second matchup hit the track to warm-up, it seemed that the crowd's interest remained as high, or higher.  You see, some probably didn't know just how big a deal it was to finally have a top-ten in the nation team like Sin City on our home track, let alone be doing so well against them.  For those, the matchup between RCR's "B" (or J.V., or whatever term you prefer) travel team, the Axles of Annihilation and the Lava City Roller Dolls was equally compelling.  This was a chance to see how RCR - Oregon's premier roller derby league - fared against the only other competing league in the state.

For me, both teams were somewhat of an unknown element.  I know all the skaters on the Axles, and they certainly are a talented squad, but they have only skated together as a team for a few weeks now.  On the other hand, I knew next to nothing about Lava City, aside from the fact that the league was formed in 2006.  My prediction was that the Axles probably had the better overall talent and skill, but that Lava City had probably skated together longer as a team, so they'd probably have a more developed team game and better chemistry.  I was guessing it would be a relatively close bout, with Lava City taking an early lead but the Axles ultimately getting a come from behind victory.

The first thing I noticed as the girls hit the track was one rather glaring faux pas - the uniforms worn by both teams were far too similar.  The official rules only state that the uniforms need to "clearly [identify each skater] as a member of her team" (WFTDA Rule 3.7.3), so that's a little ambiguous, and besides this matchup was an exhibition, not a WFTDA sanctioned event.  Still, I would have preferred if the teams weren't both wearing grey uni's, and I'm sure it would have been easier on the refs, and the skaters for that matter.

In any case as the first abbreviated 15 minute period got underway, both teams started fast and with relatively loose defensive schemes.  Izabell Ringer and Madame Bumps-a-lot seemed to be focused most aggressively on defense, while Slaybia Majoria and pivot Trixie Fairlane seemed to put most of their efforts towards whipping their jammer through the pack.  At the end of the first jam the Axles had taken an 8-4 lead over Lava City.

In jam number two Lava City responded with a lot of speed, executing multiple scoring runs, but the Axles stuck right with them and only lost one point off their lead, finishing 15-12.  However, the Axles seemed to recognize the the loose pack formation was making this a scorer's game and began to work to tighten things up defensively.

In the next jam Stinker took the floor jamming for Lava City, while Bumps-a-lot jammed for the Axles.  Right away Viva Vendetta, blocking for the Axles started wailing on Lava City blocker Shortcake, keeping her unstable and off balance in the middle of the pack.  Bumps exploited the opening and blitzed through, ducking low under her opponents' hits.  Stinker had no suck luck avoiding the Axles' ever tightening defensive schemes and was only just finishing her first partial scoring run as Bumps zipped by her to record a grand slam.  By the time the jam ended, the Axles had reeled off a 7-2 jam and lead 22-14 with just under 8:30 left in the period.

It seemed the Axles had discovered a Lava City weakness: they had speed, and were adept at assisting their jammer, but strong hitting and superior pack positioning could isolate their skaters forcing them into an individual game.  On the next jam Blood Clottia and Cadilac took it to the Lava City blockers, smacking them up and down the track.  For their part the Lava City skaters were quick to hit back, but that worked right into the Axles' game plan as each Lava City blocker seemed to be fighting alone against a unified Axles pack.  The Axles extended their lead by recording a 4-1 jam.

The following jam gave Stinker another crack jamming against Bumps, but this time around she fared on better and the stout Axles defense recorded their first shutout jam of the night, while adding four points to their tally for a total of 30-15.  On the next jam the Axles employed one of my favorite lineups of the night: Blood Clottia pivoting, Slaybia Majora, Cadilac, Scratcher in the Eye, and Izabell Ringer jamming.  This lineup shoved the Lava City skaters all over the track, locking up their jammer and holding her scoreless while Ringer zipped through to pick up 7 points.  But the beating was only going to get worse.

On the next jam Lava City rolled out Mighty Muff to jam against Viva Vendetta for the Axles.  Once again the Axles, with Domesticated Violence pivoting, completely controlled the pack and always had a blocker in position to give Viva an assist on each and every scoring run...and there were many, many scoring runs.  Lava City's already porous defense completely fell apart, while at the same time they were unable to get their jammer through the pack for a single scoring run.  By the end of the jam, there was about 0:30 remaining in the period - not enough time for either team to score - and Viva had racked up an astounding 13 points, to balloon her team's lead to 50-15.  It seemed like this was the decisive knockout punch, and it was hard to imagine Lava City managing to recover enough in the second half to threaten the Axle's commanding 35-point lead.

But now it was time for period two of the main event, and I was curious to see if the Neanderdolls would be able to continue chipping away at the Wheels' lead.  The Neanderdolls hit the track with a vengence, working the pack with precision and fighting to divide the Wheels' blockers.  Ava Sk8trix, a dangerous blocker from the #4 position, was ganged up on by the Neanderdolls and forced away from the rest of her teammates.  They continued to keep the pressure on Ava throughout the entire jam, even getting away with a few out of bounds hits, including one that seemed to catch her in the face.  Hampered by her team's mounting penalties, jammer Rhea DeRange found little assistance and had to think twice before engaging in any particularly aggressive moves to get through the pack.  Picking up right where they'd left off in the first period, the Neanderdolls racked up an 8-0 jam, cutting it to a 37-29 lead.

The next jam - the 13th of the bout - featured Vominatrix jamming for the Wheels against Skid of the Neanderdolls.  The Neanderdolls formed a solid front wall with pivot Trish the Dish and Ivanna S. Pankin.  Unable to get around or through the Neanderdoll wall, Vom spent lap after lap seemingly glued to Dish and Ivanna's backs.  Hurricane Skatrina and Goodie TwoSkates soon came to the rescue and attacked the front wall, but time ran out before Vom was able to complete her scoring pass.  The Neanderdolls outscored the Wheels 5-2 on that jam, whittling that lead even smaller to 39-34.

On the next jam it seemed the Neanderdolls targeted Wheels pivot Dora Doom for isolation as Ivanna, MC Guillotine, and Roxy Contin boxed her out from the inside.  However this left jammer November Pain almost unchecked as she bagged a five-point grand slam for the Wheels.  Dish, jamming for the Neanderdolls ran straight into the back of Wheels blocker Firecrotch, who almost singlehandedly prevented her from scoring.  It was during this jam when Dish was sent to the box (likely for back blocking), and she seemed none too pleased, red faced and screaming at the refs the entire time.  This allowed the Wheels to add a little breathing room to their once comfortable lead, pushing the score up to 44-34.

Next up Rhea DeRange donned the star for the Wheels, but she was unable to really take advantage of the brief head start she had over Dish, who was finishing up her stint in the box.  Ivanna and Skid teamed up to try and neutralize blocker Ava Sk8trix and keep her off their jammer.  With some timely assistance from Vominatrix, Ava muscled her way back into the pack to assist Rhea, but the Wheels were only able to score four points, while the Neanderdolls racked up twice that many, leaving the score at 48-42 with about 11:30 left in the second period.

Sol Train jammed for the Wheels on the next jam, with Pain and D-Day forming an intriguing front line, and Dora Doom and Megahurtz holding down the rear.  Sol burst through the pack with tremendous speed, and seemed poised to carry that velocity on her scoring run, but the jam was called off by the officials when Ivanna S. Pankin started spouting blood on the track after getting popped in the nose, I think by Megahurtz.  Play resumed, after a short break to stuff cotton in Ivanna's bloody nose, with largely the same lineups on the floor.  The Wheels picked up right where they left off, pulling off a 5-0 jam.

The Wheels rolled out another strong lineup with Firecrotch pivoting, Goodie TwoSkates, Vominatrix, and Hurricane Skatrina blocking, and Ava Sk8trix as jammer.  Countering this lineup, the Neanderdolls rolled out Dish and Ivanna (surprise, surprise) as well as Roxy Contin, MC Guillotine, and Skid as jammer, but they were unable to post any points nor stop their opponents' offensive march as Ava swiftly scored a 4-0 jam, pressing the Wheels' lead to 57-42.

The Neanderdolls battled hard to pull themselves back into the bout, redoubling their efforts to break up the Wheels' pack formations.  Jammers Skid and Rhea DeRange battled each other around the track, struggling to break their opponents' defensive schemes and link up with their own blockers for assists.  Megahurtz and Teq"kill"ya battled hard to maintain pack control for the Wheels, but the hitting was so fierce that skaters ended up spending almost as much time on their asses as on their skates as we saw pileup after pileup.  The jam ended with neither team making much scoring headway, and a score of 58-44.

The teams got their offensive games back on track after that, with Pain jamming for the Wheels and Dish for the Neanderdolls.  The pivots, Sol Train and Ivanna, continued to pound each other, but the rest of the pack spaced itself out a bit more so the jammers didn't hit as many bottlenecks they had in the previous jam.  Unfortunately for the Wheels, they'd been picking up a steady number of penalties - mostly minors - and it was getting about that time where all those penalties would add up to majors, and a trip to the box.  I think, for the first time, frustration started to show on the faces of some of the Neanderdolls - well other than Dish - she seemed angry and frustrated since pretty much the second jam of the night.

At one point Megahurtz laid a somewhat questionable hit on Ivanna, who managed to keep her feet, but was none too happy with Mega, and she showed her displeasure with a traditional hand signal.  Skatrina did a great job of keeping Neanderdoll blocker Roxy Contin out of Pain's way, giving her room to maneuver, but it seemed like every time Sol lined up to deliver a nice hit on Dish the pack quickly receded leaving them more than 20 feet away, so Sol would have to pull up or get a penalty.  Both jammers had little trouble picking up points, but the Neanderdolls kept shaving down the Wheels' lead a point or two each jam, and outscored them here 9-8.

Now, things got a little confused on the next jam, which had Teq"kill"ya, D-Day, Firecrotch, and Vominatrix forming up another familiar lineup of blockers for the Wheels.  Shortly after the whistle blew pivots Ivanna and Teq"kill"ya started digging shoulders into each other; each fighting to maintain position at the head of the pack.  They got a little distance between them as the circled around and skated into turn 1, and Teq"kill"ya saw her opening.  With a nice, explosive burst of speed Teq"kill"ya veered from the inside-apex of the turn out to drill Ivanna with a powerful shoulder check, catching her just inside the left shoulder.  Ivanna whipped around and went down, as the pack skated by, but it was clear pretty quickly that something had gone wrong as she was grabbing her face and motioning to the refs.

The hit rocked her so hard it knocked loose the little piece of cotton she had to plug her bloody nose, and once again the light blue sport court decorated with little polka dots of Neanderdoll blood; a few drops of which landed mere feet in front of me.  It was perfectly timed and clean hit by Teq"kill"ya that, somewhat surprisingly, did not earn her a penalty from the refs.  It seems that, at lots of bouts in lots of leagues, no matter how experienced and skilled the refs, they often call fouls on perfectly clean hits that are nevertheless really hard, or take out an opposing team's start player; I've heard more than one roller girl express frustration with this, explaining "a hard hit is not always a dirty hit."  I think the RCR refs are probably better than most at discerning legal from illegal hits, and even though the hit happened right in front of me and I knew it was clean, I feared the refs might just call the foul because the hit was so devastating.

In any case, the teams got back on the floor after the injury time out - again with virtually the same lineups as had just been out there, but I think this is where some of the confusion from all the unscheduled play stoppage messed with the Wheels a bit.  As Rhea DeRange lined up to jam, and the first whistle blew to set the pack in motion, she jumped the gun and was called for a false start.

 Now, in the past the refs would just have a do-over, but with the new WFTDA rules false starts are handled a little differently.  Rule 6.2.1.6 describes which illegal procedures result in a jam being called off or warrant a major penalty being assessed, and the first one on the list is a false start.  However, to my understanding the rule only applies when the pack commits a false start, and does not apply to the jammer.  This interpretation is bolstered by the fact that rule 6.2.2.3 addresses illegal procedures that can be rectified without calling off the jam or warrant only a minor penalty being assessed, and there we see that in the case of a jammer who false starts the remedy is for that jammer to yield advantage.  For some reason however, the jam was stopped by the refs and Rhea was sent to the box for a major; and while it's possible she was given a major because the false start could have been her fourth minor, I still see no reason why the jam was called off.  As a captain, Rhea had the prerogative to speak to the refs to discuss any disputed call, however teams are only allowed to challenge and request review of one call per period so I understand why Rhea may have let this one go.

In any case it proved to be a costly penalty for the Wheels.  Unable to score or even fight for lead jammer status to end the jam early, the Wheels had to skate a defensive jam and limit the Neanderdolls' attack.  Determined not to let the Wheels blockers slow down her jammer, Dish dug in and forced Firecrotch, Teq"kill"ya, and any other opposing blocker out of her jammer's path.  The Neanderdolls capitalized on this turn of events and recorded a 10-0 jam.

As the scoreboard was updated - and the Wheels lead was down to 66-63 - with just under a minute left in the period, my first moments of doubt started creeping in.  I knew that when these two teams met before, it was a wild back and forth matchup; first the Wheels took a large double digit lead, then the Neanderdolls would equal that lead, back and forth.  But on this night the Wheels had, for the most part, controlled the game.  But as the time on the clock expired and the second period ended, I was starting to wonder whether the Neanderdolls might not have one more heartbreaker to deliver to the Wheels; even more painful this time because it was in front of the fans at home.

These dark thoughts clouded my mind as I got up to stretch during the intermission entertainment.  Well, until I was accosted by a rollergirl who shall remain "unnamed" who plied me with vodka.  We chatted, shared a few observations on the bout from our different vantage points, indulged in a few other vices, then I returned just in time for the the second half of the Axles-Lava City bout with my spirits raised by spirits and good company.

Now, if you thought (as I did) that the Axles, with such a commanding lead, would let up a bit and play more conservatively in the second half you must have forgotten that they are the Axles of Annihilation - they came out with their foot on the gas pedal, and weren't going to let up until they'd run their opponents off the track and back to Central Oregon.  If anything, they skated even faster in the first few jams of the second period, though to be fair Lava City also cranked up the offense and had figured a few things out to try and crack the Axles' strong defensive schemes.

Before I knew what was happening I looked up at the scoreboard and the Axles had managed to increase their lead 61-25.  Then they whipped out 8-2, 8-4, and 8-0 jams in rapid succession.  I was trying hard to remember the last time I'd seen a derby team score so easily on their opponent, and it almost didn't matter who the Axles had jamming.  I expected a lot of points from Bumps-a-lot and D. Konstructor, but Blood Clottia, Izabell Ringer, and especially Viva Vendetta were just as strong out there, racking up the points and simply burying their opponents.

With about 5:30 remaining in the bout the Axles looked completely capable of tripling up the Lava City score with a 85-31 lead.  Things slowed down a bit on the subsequent jam, as the Axles only got a 4-0 shutout.  What was almost as impressive as their potent offense, was the fact that they were so completely shutting down the opposing jammers, and doing it cleanly for the most part.  This wasn't a bout where one team was simply fouling the other into oblivion; both the Axles and Lava City were skating relatively penalty free.

On the next jam Lava City scored a moral victory, holding the Axles scoreless for perhaps the first time on the night, while their own jammer Snowstorm bagged three points to make the score 89-34.  But, as if this somehow offended the collective pride of the Axles, they responded with a 3-0 jam of their own as the clock expired, and the 92-34 route of Lava City was complete.

The Axles skated such a completely dominating game, both offensively and defensively, that it's hard to really identify the high points; they were all high points.  They utilized a wide number of skaters in each position, proving the versatility of their team.  They've got balance, with stronger physical blockers like Slaybia, Cadilac, and Bittersweet Child o' Mine, as well as smaller explosive hitters like Peril Lust and Scratcher.  They have phenomenal utility players, who can fill almost any position like Trixie Fairlane, Domesticated Violence, and Blood Clottia, as well as clean-up jammers like D.K. and Bumps, and great blockers who can jam like Viva Vendetta and Izabell Ringer.

The Axles, originally created as a practice squad and developmental team for the Wheels, are shaping up to be a force unto themselves.  This can only mean good things for both teams, as the better the competition between the squads, the more competitive each team will be when they skate against other leagues.

But the time had come for the final act of the main event.  The Neanderdolls had played a smart, strategic game to stay within striking distance of the Wheels of Justice, biding their time and waiting for the right moment to strike.  Although it seemed the Wheels as a team clearly had their opponents beat in speed, and were able to alternately lock their opponent down or open up the scoring more freely than the Neanderdolls, the team from Vegas turned every small opening into an advantage.  They dropped shoulders, presenting their backs to Wheels' blockers about to hit them, turning a clean check into a foul.  They expertly managed the pack speed to separate their jammers from the pack thus protecting them from hits.  And they ganged up on individual skaters to isolate and frustrate them, limiting their opponents' effectiveness.  Over all, the Wheels were skating like a team that should win, while the Neanderdolls were skating like a team that knew how to win, even when they shouldn't.

The Neanderdolls struck first, grabbing four points on the first jam to the Wheels' two, bringing the score to 68-67 and coming within a hair's breadth of tying up the game for the first time since the opening jam of the first period.  But on the next jam strong blocking from Firecrotch and Vominatrix tied up the Neanderdoll jammer on her initial pass long enough to prevent her from making it around to score, while the Wheels added three points to their total.

They followed this up with Sol Train jamming, who quickly earned lead jammer, bagged her four points, then killed the jam holding the Neanderdolls scoreless again.  The Wheels were finding their rhythm once again, and on the next jam - the 26th of the matchup - Ava Sk8trix skated a masterful, defensive jam, again scoring four points for her team before calling off the jam before the Neanderdolls could score.

Leading 79-67, the next jam featured Skid jamming for the Neanderdolls against Goodie TwoSkates for the Wheels.  Goodie and Skid looked fairly evenly matched until they reached the pack, where Goodie got some great blocking from teammates Sol Train and Megahurtz.  She slipped through, then kicked it into high gear and zipped around the track to begin her second scoring run before Skid had even finished her initial pass.  With the pack focused either on stopping or protecting the Neanderdoll jammer, Goodie was able to zig-zag through using her phenomenal lateral skating ability and tack on a grand slam to her scoring outburst.  By the end of the jam the Wheels had leaped out to their highest lead on the night: 88-67.

It was clear that the Neanderdolls were running out of gas.  With a shorthanded lineup, they had expended so much energy just staying close to the Wheels over two periods, that they just didn't have anything left to take that next step and take the lead.  Looking back, it was amazing to think that just a few minutes earlier they trailed by a single point.  I think the Wheels knew how close they came to letting the Neanderdolls take the lead - and nothing gets you to dig down deep and find that reserve of energy you never knew you had like a come from behind victory in the final period.  But the Wheels put a quick end to the Neanderdolls' comeback hopes by going on a 20-0 scoring run over  four jams.

Ultimately, I think the Neanderdolls knew just how close they'd come, and they knew that any chance to skate away with a victory had probably just slipped through their grasp.  I think this realization may have been the final straw that sent the emotional Dish over the edge.  On the following jam Dish pivoted against Pain for the Wheels, and the anger and frustration was clearly evident on Dish's face.  Pain kept a cool head, and worked to distract Dish and direct her fury away from Rhea DeRange jamming for the Wheels.  Hurricane Skatrina patrolled the pack and tried to help shepherd Rhea through, but the real drama was taking place with Dish.

Her temper getting the better of her, Dish racked up yet another penalty and was assessed a major.  Immediately she began railing at the ref, pumping her fist and kicking the air.  She'd been jawing at the official all night - referee Rob Lobster probably weathering the brunt of it - but this time she must have gone too far, because head ref Drill Master made the call and signaled that Trish the Dish was being ejected.  Not surprisingly, that didn't sit well with Dish but she knew well enough not to make things worse and risk suspension, and began skating off the track towards the backstage production area.  As she pulled off her helmet, still red faced and jawing away, I had to stand and give her a proper sending off.  Even now I'm not sure if I was just heckling a belligerent opponent who'd just been ejected, or paying proper respect to an amazingly passionate and tough competitor - probably a little of both.

As Dish skated off the track - tossing her helmet across the production staging area - the jam came to an end.  I never noticed if the refs called it off because of the ejection, or whether time actually expired.  Rhea had managed to pick up a single point on the jam, while the Neanderdolls had scored two to make it 89-69.  As I retook my seat my neighbor alongside the track for almost the entire night, Mr. BarFly, summed up the Neanderdolls position without Dish: "And then there were nine."

The Neanderdolls were done.  That much was clear to all of us in attendance.  Dish had been arguably their most valuable player, and certainly was the heart and soul of their team.  I believe her ejection would have destroyed the Neanderdolls even if they weren't already shorthanded.  There was simply no way this team was going to find a way to overcome the Wheels, who'd been outskating them all night long.

Things got a bit hazy for me after that.  I believe it was on the next shift that Ava Sk8trix jammed against MC Guillotine.  Ava had been absorbing and fighting through Neanderdoll hits all night long and it had clearly been frustrating her.  While Ava normally has an an intense look on her face, as if she could chew on steel and spit nails, but you could tell from her body language that night that they'd really gotten under her skin a bit.  She made it through her initial pass, while MC Guillotine was getting drilled repeatedly by the Wheels' blockers.  Each time she went down, it took a little longer for her to get back on her skates.  As Ava was rounding the track to begin her first scoring run, MC Guillotine had just gotten back on her feet and was beginning her strides to try and make it back to the pack.  But Ava saw her opportunity and nothing was going to stop her from getting a little payback.  Ava came streaking across and simply leveled MC Guillotine with what had to be the most wicked hit of the night.  MC Guillotine flew up off her skates, before crashing back down in a heap as Ava continued through the hit, losing no momentum, to return to the pack on her scoring run.  There is nothing better than watching jammer-on-jammer hitting.

With about 7:15 left in the bout the Neanderdolls fell behind 92-69.  As they rolled out their next lineup, I'm sure many of them were wishing they could just fast forward the next eight minutes, but the punishment would not end that quickly.  Neanderdoll blocker Biloxi Bruise skated out on the track, for what I believe was her first shift of the night.  Even at the time I commented that if they had this skater available to skate on their team, why on earth did they wait so long to get her in the game?  Why not get her in there to spell one of their primary skaters, that way they may have had a little more juice in the tank in crunch time.

In any case the Wheels kept the pressure up and brought in a heavy hitting defensive lineup featuring D-Day, Rocket Mean, and Hurricane Skatrina as blockers.  D-Day brushed off a hit from the larger Biloxi, as she skated off in pursuit of Skid, jamming for the Neanderdolls.  Skid was caught unaware as D-Day knocked her off her feet and out of bounds.  She recovered, however, and managed to complete a four-point scoring run.

Then it was time for Sol Train to put the Neanderdolls out of their misery.  The Neanderdolls seemed to have no answer for Sol when they were skating at full strength, but this late in the bout they was nothing they could do but watch her go to work.  In fact, it seemed all they could do to stay out of their own way as Sol skated 9-0 jam, pushing the Wheels' lead to 30 points.

And that was really all she wrote.  Rhea DeRange jammed and outscored the Neanderdolls 4-3, then Skid picked up four more points in the final jam and called it off before Wheels jammer November Pain could get on the board.  At the end of the night the Wheels of Justice handed the Neanderdolls a 27-point whippping, 107-80.

I can't say enough about how well the Wheels skated against their higher ranked, more experienced opponents.  Throughout the entire matchup they never trailed once, which says a lot for their preparation and focus.  For their part the Neanderdolls were amazing opponents.  Both Ivanna S. Pankin and Trish the Dish both have such a deep understanding of the game that you can never really count them out even when their team is outclassed by their opponents.  But ultimately the Wheels had the more complete team, and had more intensity from the first whistle to the last.

After the bout I completed my floor breakdown duties, then stuck around to help with the lights...the latter is a job I will never again volunteer for because we didn't get out of the Expo center until after 1am.  We headed on over to the afterparty at Outlaw's (one of my least favorite bars in PDX), but by then the bands were all done and pretty much everyone left was in endstage inebriation, so it wasn't the best party I've ever attended.  Not to mention the fact that the ridiculous, sideways-baseball-cap-wearing "B-boyz" and their skanks du jour freaking each other on the stripper's stage was not really my bag baby.  The most memorable moment at Outlaw's: Rhea DeRange getting turned down after offering Ivanna $100 for her bloodstained jersey.  Gotta say, I don't agree with Ivanna's call on this one; she can bleed on another shirt, but $100 bucks is $100 bucks!

So, that was it.  This was the first time the PDX fans got to see their very own Wheels of Justice and Axles of Annihilation in action.  It's also the last time they'll get to see them skate as a team until July when they'll be hosting Denver's Rocky Mountain Rollergirls 5280 Fight Club.

But don't worry, the RCR will be back next month - on May 19th to be exact - with a full night of home league roller derby action.  The Breakneck Betties will be skating against the High Rollers, and the Guns 'n Rollers will take on the Heartless Heathers.  It's actually the first bout of the 2007 season that really counts towards the league championship, so you certainly won't want to miss it.  Tickets are already on sale through TicketsWest, but as always you'll want to hit up your friendly neighborhood rollergirl to buy your tickets and save a few bucks.